Relationship Goals

Goals of relationship education include helping couples learn to:

 Confide in one another regularly with emotional openness and empathic listening.

Complain to one another regularly (without attacking) including requests for change. Can listen to complaints without defensiveness.

Resolve differences and conflicts by seeking to learn rather than to prevail. Use fair fighting that involves confiding, empathic listening, complaining with requests for change, and contracting, effective win-win solutions, all without manipulation or dirty fighting.

Agree upon areas of autonomy, areas of consultation, and areas of mutually shared ownership and decision-making.

Clarify hidden assumptions and unspoken expectations to minimize misperception and misunderstanding.

Help one another heal pains and disappointments, resolve emotional allergies, and clarify hidden assumptions. Conjointly heal and resolve emotional allergy infinity loops.

Meet basic needs for sensuality, appropriate sexuality, physical closeness, bonding, and intellectual and emotional sharing with one another.

Follow clear, equal, negotiated boundaries regarding what is private and not shared with others outside the relationship.

Initiate change when the status quo (division of roles, responsibilities, and privileges) is not satisfactory. Follow through on negotiated changes.

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6 Simple Tests to Evaluate Your Health

6 Simple Tests to Evaluate Your Health

If going to the hospital isn’t your favorite activity but you still care about your health, then this article is for you.

Eyes: Close one eye, and take three to five steps back from your monitor. Take a look at the circle above. Determine whether some of the lines appear darker than others. If the answer is yes, then it’s worth visiting an optician because it’s likely you’ve developed astigmatism.

Flexibility: To carry out this test, sit on the floor, stretch out your legs in front of you, and try to touch your feet with the tips of your fingers. If you can do this with ease, then your body is in great shape. If it was difficult, then it would be a good idea to take up yoga, pilates, or swimming in order to improve your body’s flexibility and prevent excessive weakening of your joints.

The heart: Sit calmly for five minutes in silence, and then place four fingers on the inner side of your wrist. Find your pulse. Measure it for one minute, counting the number of beats. For adults and children over ten, 60-100 beats a minute is considered normal. More or less may indicate problems with blood pressure. However, don’t try to make a diagnosis yourself go and see a doctor.

Fingers: Pour some very cold water into a glass, and dip your fingers in it for 30 seconds. If the tips of your fingers turn white or blue, then you have a problem with your blood circulation. A significant drop in temperature (or stress) can cause contractions of the blood vessels that supply blood to the fingers, toes, nose, and ears. As a result, these parts of the body lack the right amount of blood and go numb. You should avoid sharp changes in temperature.

The respiratory system: Light a match, and stretch the hand holding it out in front of you. Breathe in deeply through your nose and then out through your mouth, trying as you do so to blow out the flame. How many attempts does it take you to blow out the flame? If it’s several, then there’s a possibility you have a weakened respiratory system. This could have been caused by smoking, a lack of exercise, or a chronic illness of the airways.

Fluid retention: Press down on either the upper or underside of your foot with your thumb. If there is still an indentation on your foot several seconds after you’ve removed your thumb, then the chances are your body has an issue with fluid retention. It’s recommended that you reduce the amount of salt in your diet and avoid consuming processed food products.

The thyroid: Close your eyes, stretch your arms out in front of you, spread your fingers out to the sides, and ask someone to place a thin sheet of paper in your hands. If the piece of paper begins to tremble along with your fingers, it’s worth going to see an endocrinologist.

These tests are not in any way the basis for making a diagnosis as they can be indications of various other illnesses. However, if you did notice any of the above symptoms, you shouldn’t ignore them. See a doctor for a detailed examination straightaway.

Source: brightside

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10 Hidden Traps That Make Us Pay More in Stores

10 Hidden Traps That Make Us Pay More in Stores

How often do you make unnecessary purchases when in a store or a supermarket? We bet the answer is "often." However, many don’t even realize we’re actually made to buy things we don’t need with a whole set of tricks.

Inconvenient checkouts: More than 60% of people put back unnecessary purchases in the checkout line. To strip customers of such an opportunity, checkout areas are made so you can’t put unnecessary things anywhere else, especially if your purchases are in a cart. 

Rest without a rest: Food courts are meant for you to rest and have a snack before continuing your shopping. However, you won’t be able to spend much time eating: uncomfortable seats, little space between the tables, noises, and echoes all do their job. This helps shopping malls keep people browsing the stores while having a constantly changing flow of customers.

No windows, no clocks: It’s common knowledge that casinos have no windows or clocks so people lose their sense of reality and spend as much time (= money) there as possible. Shopping malls borrowed this trick to do just the same.

Cozy stores: All passageways in the malls are brightly lit, and there’s always loud music around that is amplified and echoed by the floor tiling. But as soon as you enter any of the stores, the floors become softer, the lights too, and the music is suddenly calm and pleasant. All this creates a feeling of comfort and makes you stay longer.

Clever fitting room mirrors: Sad as it is, fitting room mirrors are made specifically to make us look slimmer, more tanned, and taller. Some lingerie stores, for example, add pink pigment to their mirrors to make the skin look tanned. And the trick works because the more we like ourselves in some clothes, the more likely we’ll buy them.

Replacing the goods: If you buy your stuff at the same store for a certain time, you know exactly where everything is, moving straight to your mark without looking around. When the store shuffles the goods, you have to search for those you need, filling your cart on the way.

Thought-out lighting: Everyone knows the best bananas are those of a certain tint of yellow. This also applies to other fruits and vegetables, and shop owners know this well. The issue of “imperfect“ colors is solved with lighting: the ”right" light can make any goods look better.

Artificial demand: Let’s take juice shelves as an example. Ever noticed those empty spaces between the cartons? We tend to think it’s because the juice is popular as it’s so good, and we take it for granted. Alas, most of the time it’s the store employees who remove the juice from the shelves to create the appearance of high demand.

Manipulation based on a lack of confidence: Mirrors outside the fitting rooms play an important role in sales: if a person is not too confident or just doesn’t look great, their constantly appearing reflection will remind them of that. This trick literally makes them buy something new to improve the situation.

Playing contrasts: There are two kettles with similar characteristics on the same shelf, but one of them costs $79.99 and the other is $99.99. The "cheap" one sells well, as a result, and the more expensive one will go almost unsold. Why’s that? Because we don’t think of the real value of things but of the fact that we’re getting a great bargain.

Source: brightside

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7 Celebrity Couples Who Prove That Love Is Above Formalities

People meet, fall in love, and get married. But is the last point so crucial for true family happiness?

Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell: This couple is a perfect example of an ideal relationship without formal marriage. Despite being together for over three decades now, Goldie and Kurt are in no hurry to give their love an official status. "We love each other. Of course, like any family, we argue sometimes, but we still love being together," said Goldie.

Tina Turner and Erwin Bach: To be perfectly honest, Tina and Erwin are a bit off this list: after 27 years of living together, the couple finally got officially married in 2013. Tina even had to waive her American citizenship and move to Switzerland, but that didn’t stop her on her way to happiness.

Shakira and Gerard Piqué: Shakira and her beloved Spanish footballer, Gerard Piqué, have been together for seven years and have two sons. They met during the preparations for the 2010 World Cup. Gerard says the pop star won his heart when she answered his simple question about the weather in South Africa, and Shakira, in her turn, tells about her feelings in a song she called Me Enamoré.

Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling: As it happens, Ryan and Eva met each other on a movie set. Six years have passed since, and there were troubles between them — the media often gossiped about their breaking up. The latest instance was when Ryan appeared at the Oscar ceremony with another lady, who turned out to be his sister. The couple really doesn’t like to show off their relationship, but they do raise two beautiful daughters, and that says something.

Anna Kournikova and Enrique Iglesias: The Russian tennis player and Spanish singer have been together since 2001, all the while being surrounded by rumors about their marriage, break-up, pregnancy, or whatnot. Still, we can say for sure that Anna and Enrique are still together and still wouldn’t change anything to appease the public.

Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham: Oprah and her beloved businessman, Stedman Graham, have been in a relationship for over 30 years. They were about to get married in 1992 but rejected the idea in the end. Oprah later explained that she’s perfectly happy with their relationship, and they don’t need a wedding to prove anything.

Natalia Vodianova and Antoine Arnault: When she met the French businessman Antoine Arnault, Natalia was married to Englishman Justin Portman. At first, their relations were purely businesslike. They grew into romantic ones when the model got divorced, and they were spoken of as a family after the birth of their first son, Maxim. Today, the couple raises two kids of their own and three from Natalia’s first marriage.

Source: brightside

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7 Oils That Will Transform Your Looks in 7 Days

7 Oils That Will Transform Your Looks in 7 Days

A vacation is always sudden, even when it’s been planned for months. Most of us usually start making emergency preparations, both in terms of our suitcases and our bodies.

Sesame oil for healthy teeth: Sesame oil contains numerous polyvitamin acids and elements. Rinse your mouth with this oil, and your teeth will become whiter, all the while improving regeneration of your gums, mouth cavity, and tongue. Just make sure you do it right.

Hibiscus oil for hair growth: Hibiscus is just what thin hair needs. The vitamin C in its oil helps increase collagen in the hair, while amino acids nurture and strengthen the roots. Ground petals can wake up "sleeping" hair bulbs, making them grow again. Therefore, the stems of your hair become thicker, and your hairdo gains more volume.

Castor oil for thick eyebrows and lashes: The only drawback of castor oil is its smell. Otherwise, it’s all-around beneficial: the oil substances improve cell metabolism, while stearic and linoleic acids prevent moisture from evaporating and protect small hairs from shedding, dryness, and the effects of heat and sun.

Flaxseed oil for detox: Flaxseed oil has been considered almost a panacea since time immemorial. A broad set of fatty acids, vitamins, and potassium make it a must-have item for anyone. It carefully detoxifies your body, restarting the metabolic processes after seven days of regular intake. To achieve better results, make it a part of your everyday diet.

Tea tree oil for acne: Tea tree oil has anti-inflammatory, bactericide, fungicide, antiviral, and wound-healing properties. It’s commonly used to treat acne and as a care for oily or problem skin.

Olive oil for soft feet: Olive oil intake, thanks to its monosaturated fatty acids, benefits the liver and stomach. It also decreases cholesterol levels. From outside, this nutritious oil improves the condition of the skin, hair, and nails. It can be used both as a separate treatment and in combination with other beauty products.

Almond oil for nails and cuticles:  Almond oil should be used daily to nurture and regenerate skin cells. It also has an antifungal effect.

Note: For a steadier effect, use the oils for no less than a week. Apart from masks, you can add them to your daily creams, hair conditioners, and all kinds of sera. Some oils can be taken orally.

Important: Before using any oil, read the package insert and consult your doctor.

Source: brightside

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12 Simple Beauty Tricks That Will Completely Change Your Life

12 Simple Beauty Tricks That Will Completely Change Your Life

We spend a lot of time and effort on all sorts of little things, like
morning makeup, and we often forget about really important skin and hair
care rules.

How to make your eyelashes thicker with baby powder: Apply mascara to your eyelashes, as you normally do. Dip a Q-tip into
baby powder, and swipe it over your lashes. After you have covered them
with baby powder, add one more coat of mascara for extra fullness. This
simple trick will make your lashes look super long and thick.

How to quickly dry your hair without a towel: If you
need to dry your hair very quickly, use a cotton T-shirt instead
of a towel! The T-shirt absorbs moisture better than a towel. Besides,
if you leave it on overnight, you’ll get the best natural curls the next
morning.

How to draw wings: This simple trick can save you a lot of time and effort. All you need is a Q-tip and some eyeliner.



How to make your eye shadow look brighter: You can apply matte eye pencil on your eyelids to make your eye shadow much brighter and your eyes visually bigger.



How to get rid of facial hair: Bloggers recommend the following mask recipe
which will help you get rid of unwanted facial hair forever. Blend
1 tbsp oatmeal paste, 2 tbsp lemon juice, 2 tbsp honey, and apply the
mixture to your face. Let it sit on the spot for 15 minutes, then wash
it off with warm water. Apply this mask 2-3 times per week.



How to reduce redness after waxing: Put
a cotton pad soaked in milk on the affected area for 10 minutes. Milk
is an excellent remedy for relieving post-waxing irritation.



How to get rid of chapped lips: This
tip will help to heal chapped lips almost instantly. All you have
to do is press a wet green tea bag against your lips for a few minutes.
It will help to soothe the unpleasant sensation and moisturize your
lips.



How to prevent the appearance of acne: It’s
important to understand that skin irritation can cause acne. Irritation
is anything that rubs, scratches, or comes into prolonged contact with
your skin. So it’s absolutely vital to wash your face as gently
as possible. When you’re washing your face at the sink, make sure your
hands barely contact with your face. Avoid rubbing your face! When
you’re washing your face in the shower, don’t use your hands at all —
let the water flow over your face. If you perform this regimen twice
a day, you can expect great results.



How to keep bobby pins in place for a long time: Spray
your bobby pins with hairspray just before sliding them into your hair.
This will help to hold the pins in place throughout the day.



How to make your lips look fuller: Follow these simple steps to increase the volume of your lips.



How to clean your makeup brushes easily:Use a hair donut to clean your makeup brushes in a few seconds. Note that a similar "thing" produced by a well-known manufacturer is far more expensive.



How to wake up with the perfect hairstyle: We’ve
found an excellent hairstyle solution for those who like to sleep
longer in the mornings. Twist your hair to make 5 or 6 mini buns, and
fix them with pins before going to bed. You can wear a hairnet too.
In the morning, apply dry shampoo on your hair and untwist the buns.
It’s a really amazing hairstyle for every occasion.



Source: brightside

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15 Cool Sculptures You Won’t Believe Actually Exist

  15 Cool Sculptures You Won’t Believe Actually Exist

Throughout the world and even on the Internet — say hello to modern technology — you can discover stunning sculptures. Their creators simply destroyed all the traditions that ruled the world of fine art. 

Canada(Wonderland): The coolest thing about this statue in Calgary is to be inside it! Outside, this is a 12-meter wire frame in the form of a head; from the inside it’s a whole world, invented by Spanish sculptor Jaume Plensa.
 

USA(Karma):The creation of Korean sculptor Do-Ho Suh meets visitors of the New York Albright-Knox Art Gallery and immediately strikes their imagination. The statue is only 7 meters in height, but it seems endless.

USA(Last Supper): The sculpture by Albert Szukalski in the ghost town of Rhyolite is the author’s rethinking of the fresco by Leonardo da Vinci. Against the background of the famous Death Valley, the figures look especially mysterious at night, when they’re lit from the inside with a special illumination.

Australia(Diamonds): This photo hasn’t been rotated. New Zealand master Neil Dawson creates sculptures you cannot pass by without trying to figure out how they levitate. The effect is created with the help of barely noticeable wires.

Dubai(Balancing sculpture): This balancing bronze miracle completely defies the laws of physics. How the sculptures of Polish master Jerzy Kedziora don’t overturn under the influence of their own gravity and gusts of wind is a puzzle for almost everyone.

Netherlands(Monument to the violinist): In the famous Amsterdam “Stopera,“ where the city hall and the musical theater are located, a marble floor was broken to install the violinist’s sculpture. The author of this creation is a real intrigue. Anyway, everyone in the city hall shrugs their shoulders and prefers to ”ignore" it.

UK(Porsches at the Festival of Speed): Gerry Judah creates his incredible sculptures of cars that seem to rush into an endless space. As part of the annual Festival of Speed in Goodwood, he managed to work with the most famous brands of the automotive world.

Australia(Diminish and Ascend): The staircase to the sky by David McCracken, installed in Sydney, has its secret. Each successive step is smaller than the previous one. Therefore, when you look at it, it seems infinite.

The inevitability of time: The Greek artist and sculptor Adam Martinakis creates digital sculptures in the genre of futuristic virtual art. You can see them only on the Internet or in prints. Yet this is why modern art exists: to discover new ways of expression.

France(Features of Gravity for the Elephant): The sculpture by Daniel Firman had time to visit the Paris Castle of Fontainebleau. It was dedicated to the author’s theory that an elephant could balance on its own trunk at a height of 18,000 km above ground level.

Greece(Runner): You can see the Greek "Dromeas" in Athens. From any perspective, one gets the impression it’s in motion. This colossal figure was created with an insane number of dark green glass pieces by sculptor Costas Varotsos.

Mexico(Underwater sculptures): Entire underwater parks in different parts of the world are the achievement of sculptor Jason Taylor. To take a selfie with these exhibits, you’ll have to make a big effort and find some scuba gear.

Involution: Another representative of digital art is Chad Knight. He places his virtual sculptures on a background close to reality. He makes it so amazing that fantastic images seem to come alive.

Germany(The Bather): German boaters got a surprise with "The Bather," a giant, styrofoam-and-steel sculpture showing a woman’s head and knees if she were soaking in a bathtub created by Oliver Voss.

Georgia(Ali and Nino): The creation of this dynamic sculpture by Tamara Kvesitadze was inspired by the love story of two characters. The figures are in eternal motion: first toward each other, merging into a single whole, and then separated in the inevitable breakup.

Source: brightside

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